This weekend was an off-campus weekend here at Conception Seminary College. The administration strongly encourages the students to get away and take a break. As it happens, this weekend was both my niece’s and my mother’s birthday. As a result, I found myself traveling the 450 miles down to Edmond Oklahoma.
It was good to be around my family again, and it was especially enjoyable to see my two nieces. Getting to play with them reminded me of how much of a child I still am. While everyone else busied themselves with football and photographs, I found myself very engrossed in sidewalk chalking with my older niece. I accidently covered my pants in rainbow colored chalk, and I found that this splash of pigment contrasted nicely with my polished dress shoes.
In a way, this contrasts sums up how I feel about my life. If the priesthood is my vocation, I am undertaking an enormous responsibility. In my head, the priesthood seems like a life of polished shoes, where everything is lined away, everything is figured out, mannered, and respectable. Yet, more and more I realize that I am just a child. I have nothing figured out. I’m irresponsible, carefree, and immature.
I find that a lot of my qualities would impair a successful priesthood. I’m sure that I will grow out of my immaturity, but I know that I have a long ways to go. A great deal of life is being ok with who you are. Loving what is perfect is easy. Loving yourself, your spouse, or your kids is what is difficult. Yet for as messed up as everything is, things really are nice. Right now, the shoes that I’m wearing are scuffed and covered in chalk, and yet somehow, that is just fine.
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