Bad Content and Discontent

               At the risk of causing scandal, I would say that I am not a happy person. I am an analytic and hyper-critical person, and this  tends to quash out any semblance of enjoyment in my life. I am dissatisfied with my own shortcomings more than I am with the shortcomings of other people. Here I seriously considered quoting Vanilla Ice in saying that “Anything less than the very best is a felony”, but for your sake and the sake of my public image, I will not do such a thing.

               My blog is a prime example of my discontent. I am dissatisfied with every single post thus far. At this point I have written a good half dozen more articles that I have not posted. I often get something typed up, proofread, and ready to post, but don’t actually do it for one reason or another. Most of the time, the post is nothing brilliant, and brilliance is what I strive after.

               Yet I think that failure to accept mediocrity is exactly why so many people, myself included, are unhappy. Please forgive me for the religious side-note, but I must say

               … I do not think it sinful to hope for great things in life. The God has filled the world with wonderful things. After all, he is God! I think the sin exists in not enjoying what we have when we have so much.  Also one should not feel entitled to the goodness in life, but realize that everything is a grace…

               I find myself incredibly irritated at the fact that I do not enjoy an event or joke as much as the next person, and I often wonder why. For example, I can write a list of 100 things that I should be thankful for, but feel very little appreciation for those things

               To end I would like to say that I am not unhappy with my life because it is terrible, but because I so very much desire beauty, wonder, joy, and laughter, and I feel this lacking. At its heart, I think that desire is a great thing.