Friends

               People say that you lose your high school friends, but college friends are ones you keep for life. The seminary is an odd situation for making and keeping friends. The seminary is a place where it is easy to make friends, but the permanence of those friends is always in question. People discern out of the priestly vocation on a monthly basis. An extremely small percentage of seminarians are 100% sure that they will become priests. The rest of us fall out of formation at often unexpected times.

               I am in a strange although common position for a seminarian. I have ceased formation and, as a result, am removed from the vast majority of my closest friends. A few of my classmates will return to Oklahoma for their ministry, but most will be spread out across the United States. The chance for extended interaction with all of my friends is quite slim, and as a result, causes a rift in any relationships that I did have at the seminary. While I was at school, I often wondered what it was like for the people who left. Now I have first-hand experience, but I don’t know how to describe it.

               Friendships are incredibly powerful and complicated things. I tend to attempt to retain my old friendships despite geographic distance. I want all my friendships to be lifelong and deep, but I am not so sure this should be the case.

               Circumstance dictates friendships. I have not tried to keep up with any of my fellow seminarians because of the distance between us. I personally need to be sure not to neglect present relationships. One needs to be present to the community he or she is with. The shortest, the simplest, and the most basic human interactions are equally important as the most intimate friendship. Sharing a smile and offering thanks for a cup of coffee can be as important as keeping in touch with an old friend.